dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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