i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
