Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Randomize
