Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
