butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
