Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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