Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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