id be glad to
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
