Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
