Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
