were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
