he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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