I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
