So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
