Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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