We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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