I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
