u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
