Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
