i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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