Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
