I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
