everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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