I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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