Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
