I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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