i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
