11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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