I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Send help, water and tortillas.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
