Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
