But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
