i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize