Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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