We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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