wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize