I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i now understand why vodka
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
