I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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