we're blogging at a bar
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
