I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's paint friendship bongs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
