No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
