So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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