dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
