I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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