That's intense
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
