that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
