There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize