she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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