Just cropdusted the office
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize