brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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