Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Randomize
