Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
