i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
