I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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