Swine flu. Run for my life!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
