Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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