my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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