I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize