just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
