it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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