Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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