you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
