it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize